Whistle
by A dragon's crystal
Summary: It's such a shame that Yuriy doesn't know how to whistle... if he did, then Boris wouldn't have such crappy days. [YxB one shot]


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything… sucks, doesn't it?

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**Whistle**

Yuriy Ivanov is good at everything he does and I mean _everything_.

Contrary to popular belief, he can actually cook pretty well. The only reason that a lot of people think that his cooking tastes nasty is because they've never seen Yuriy in the kitchen, chopping onions like a professional and sautéing beef like a chef. Then again, Yuriy hardly ever did his fair share with the stove because every time that it is his turn to do the cooking, he orders takeout.

Moreover, as the whole Beyblading population knows, Yuriy's a professional beyblader, and not to mention the team captain of the famous Russian team, the Blitzkrieg Boys. He would not hesitate to rip your beyblade to pieces if you know how to piss him off enough.

Another thing that he does best actually requires some privacy, if you know what I mean. It involves a bed, a bottle of lube and of course his dear, horny boyfriend, Kuznetsov, Boris. The only proof that they are _really_ good at it, are the sounds that they emit from the bedroom.

All in all, Yuriy Ivanov is good at everything he does…

Except for a little, teensy, weensy problem…

He cannot whistle.

Even if it saved him from the apocalypse, from the Armageddon or hell even from Ivan's so called tuna casserole.

HE-JUST-CAN'T-DO-IT!

And so… when he tries - or pretends is more of the word we're looking for… he does this sound:

"Wheeeeeet - Whooooooot!"

Some people think it is pretty cute, others thought it was annoying as hell.

Like this particular person…

Who would have thought that his own boyfriend would be irritated by that sound?

In fact, Boris was so annoyed that once he confronted Yuriy with it, yelling profanity every now and then. Unfortunately, he made a mistake, a BIG mistake. Not only did the redhead yell back, but also, he was forced to sleep on the couch… for a year, all because of Yuriy's incessant _whistling_. Poor, poor Boris… he really learned from that lesson… or so we think.

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"Wheeeeeet - Whooooooot!" Yuriy _whistled_ as he came in the apartment door clutching the groceries carefully. It was his turn to do the groceries, seeing as both Ivan and Sergei had done the chore two weeks ago. When he got into the living room, he saw his lover glaring at him with annoyance and all that jazz. 

"Must you do that sound even though you don't know how to whistle?"

Yuriy ignored him and went inside the kitchen, carefully putting each of his purchases in the cupboard. His boyfriend didn't have to point out the obvious… he _knows_ that he can't do that small tune. He frowned slightly at the thought, while putting the bag of peanuts right beside the can of peaches. _I mean, it's not_ my _fault that someone hadn't taught me how…_ Then out of nowhere, an idea came to the redhead's mind.

"Boris…?"

Boris looked to his right to see Yuriy come out of the kitchen, looking at him dejectedly. He groaned inwardly thinking that the other Russian obviously wanted something, after all, that is what Yuriy always does best. And so… the only thing he could do to prevent whatever Yuriy wants him to do, was to ignore him. And, ignore he did.

The other Russian on the other hand, pouted since his lover is obviously ignoring him. Hah, well two can play at this game, hmm? He walked towards the figure sitting down on the couch, trying - yes trying, because a certain _someone_ was trying to get his attention - to watch the show on television. Yuriy stopped right in front of Boris and kneeled down with his head resting on the latter's lap.

Boris tried not to look at the icy blue-eyed orbs that were looking at his way. Alas, for him, he is fighting the losing battle and sooner or later he would have to give in… damn he's gotten too soft.

"You do realize that you're caving in, right?" Yuriy asked his boyfriend.

"Shut up," was the only reply that the redhead received. He ignored that and gave a small laugh while nuzzling Boris's lap. _Just a bit more…_ Yuriy grinned inwardly.

The lilac-haired Russian, on the other hand was really trying to hold all of his self-control not to just throw the other Russian to their bed and do very, very naughty things to him, because he will be sure that his lover would complain all day tomorrow about his sore ass.

"Come on, it's not like you won't have an advantage to this, you know… After all, you're the one who's going to be teaching me…"

Boris snorted and crossed his arms. "No, _Yuriy_. I refuse to do something so - " he paused suddenly, whilst finally looking at his lover's orbs. "Teaching you what?"

Yuriy jumped for joy in his mind, gave a huge - not to mention mischievous - grin, and sat down right beside the other man on the couch. "You, love, are going to teach me how to whistle! You know how don't you?" His grin widened a bit when he saw the other nod. "So, you're going to teach me, _riiiight_?"

An eyebrow was raised from the other's face. "What makes you think that I'd teach you?"

"The fact that I know you _hate_ my so-called whistling is one of the main reasons that you can teach me… so pleeeeeeease?"

Boris thought about it for a moment. _Hmm, I suppose so… no harm in trying to teach him…_ "Fine," he said aloud. "I'll teach you how to whistle…" He watched his lover clap his hands and gave him a small peck on the cheek.

"Let's get started then!"

…

After so many hours and so many days - actually, it was only two days - Boris decided that teaching Yuriy how to whistle was a big mistake… a terribly BIG mistake. Despite the fact that he is using all of his patience, they are not getting anywhere. Let us see what they have been doing, shall we?

_Day One: 3:50 PM_

_Yuriy sat across from Boris with eager eyes. It seems that he knows about him knowing how to do everything, and well… since he can't whistle he technically doesn't know how to do _everything_ but now that his boyfriend is going to teach him how to whistle, then that counts for knowing how to do everything, right? Right, of course it is! He watched the vein growing on Boris's forehead. "Boris? Aren't we going to start our lesson now?" he inquired, while raising his left eyebrow._

_Boris, who still has doubts about this idea, did not notice the vein that forming on his forehead. Why did he want to teach Yuriy again? Oh yeah, so that stupid "Wheeeeeet - Whooooooot" would stop… He shook his head, when he heard the other whine again. "Fine, let's do this…_

"_Okay, first I'm going to show you how to do it, and then you try, alright?" he asked, while Yuriy enthusiastically nodded his head. Boris realized that Yuriy's only enthusiastic when they're only having - _Oh shit, don't think about that now, Boris! _He mentally scolded himself, while doing a perfect tune with his orifice. _

_The redheaded Russian widened his eyes slightly while watching his boyfriend whistle. He had never really seen Boris whistling - in fact, he hardly ever does it like Yuriy not cooking even though he's good at it - so, he never realized how excellent his lover is. "Can I do it next now? Can I?" When he saw Boris's nod, that's when it all fell apart…_

"_Pfft…" Yuriy _tried_ to whistle, but it seems that a bit of drool and possibly bits and pieces of their lunch earlier was sprayed out right in front of the other man. He winced when Boris gave him his infamous death glare and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, love."_

_Day Two: 12:46 PM_

_Suffice to say, Boris was officially and royally pissed off at Yuriy's little stunt yesterday. In fact, he was so pissed that he literally volunteered to sleep on the couch last night, no matter how uncomfortable and back breaking it was. Unfortunately, it gets worse. Right after he woke up from the miserable nightmare - in which everybody speaks "Wheeeeeet - Whooooooot" as a language and he didn't understood what they were saying at all - Yuriy jumped on his stomach and started to beg and whine that he should be given a second chance because it has been a long time since he's tried to whistle _properly.

"_Booooooooooris, you know you can't stay mad at me forever," Yuriy said giving his lover a quick glance then going back to wiping the dishes dry. "It's not my fault that no one taught how to whistle…"_

_Boris ignored him while adjusting the pack of ice cubes in his stomach - ouch, looks like Yuriy left a nasty bruise there. He closed his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. Can't he just get a moments peace? He heard the faucet turning off and then felt the movement of the couch when the redhead had sat beside him._

"_Can we continue, please?" _

"_No."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because."_

"_Because? You know, that's not a good reason."_

"_I know, damn it!"_

"_B-But… what if Ivan decides to have a… a whistling contest and challenges me? I'll lose!"_

"_A whistling contest? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard!"_

"_You don't want me to lose now, do you?" And now, Boris was trapped. Either he says yes - then he'll face a mad Yuriy, who could do… destructive things other than spitting in his face - or he could say no, in which there will be more whining considering the fact that how could Yuriy win if he doesn't even know _how_ to whistle?_

_The annoyed Russian glared at the ceiling, thinking that someone up there really hates him a lot and gave a grunt. "Fine, we'll freaking continue the stupid lesson. But you owe me a lot for this, Ivanov. A. WHOLE. LOT." He gave a smirk towards Yuriy as if he was saying; 'You're going to have a sore ass for a month.'_

_Yuriy on the other hand did not see the smirk nor heard the 'you owe me' sentence and started jumping on the couch, waving his arms here and there. He did not even realize that Boris was just right beside him, when he accidentally punched him in the nose._

…

Boris glared at his reflection at the mirror, as if it was mocking him. He specifically glared at the small, white bandage that's covering his nose after it bled and almost got disconnected to his face. Stupid Yuriy, and his stupid antics, he should only be _that_ enthusiastic when they're only having sex and nothing else! He left the bathroom only to find his lover looking at him guiltily and felt a small pang in his stomach. _Oh great, now he's looking at me like that…_

"I'm really sorry, Boris," the guilty Russian said, while giving his boyfriend as hug. "I didn't mean to punch you… I guess I was just really excited that you'll teach me again even though you hate it."

Boris sighed, wrapped his arms around Yuriy, and leaned his head on the other man's shoulder. "Apology accepted, though… that eagerness of yours should really be used towards…" he trailed off whilst pointedly looking at their bedroom's direction.

Yuriy gave a small laugh and dragged his lover towards the bedroom. "Why don't I use that _eagerness_ now?" he said seductively, watching Boris's eyes lighten up at the suggestion.

"That's the most intelligent question you've said this week."

Too bad for Boris - who thinks that he's out of the responsibility of teaching Yuriy how to whistle - though, because the next day Yuriy's bothering him with the same question again and again and again…

**OWARI** **

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Crystal:** Haha… poor Boris, ne? Well, I just realized that I've been torturing Yuriy too much in 'Stuck' and so I guess I decided to let him off the hook in this one. -gives a sheepish grin- I hope you guys liked it! Oh, and Ladyfiction, gomen ne that it took me a few days to write this… -has an apologetic look- 

Anyhow, please don't forget to review! Bye for now!


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